Tag Archives: nfl

How to Enjoy Yourself in a Weirdly Empty Football Stadium (via The Loop / Golf Digest)

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The Loop / Golf Digest — Generally speaking, you can expect stadiums to be jam-packed full of teeming and gross humanity: Cheering, screaming, singing throngs of people who have gathered together to pay $75 for parking and sit in four hours of endless postgame gridlock to enjoy the communal experience of things like rooting for the Cleveland Browns, I guess.

But what happens when the stadiums don’t cooperate? What happens when you find yourself in a stadium that’s mostly empty, because the team is hot garbage, because they got bounced out of the playoff race, because they play football in Los Angeles, because you elected to buy Indiana football season tickets for some reason? It’s an eerie feeling, sitting in a place designed for tens of thousands and being surrounded by a couple hundreds, with every whistle, boo and call echoing off the empty seats. It sucks, but it doesn’t have to be hopeless. We here at The Loop have some ways you can pass the time at an empty stadium before your surprisingly convenient drive home:

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Andrew Luck Made Me Read a Very Good Book (via Men’s Health)

image: Men's Health

image: Men’s Health

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Men’s Health — NFL players are generally associated with reading about as much as they are skin moisturizers and Sarah McLachlan albums, which is part of what makes the Andrew Luck Book Club such an odd little slice of nerd-joy in Indianapolis.

As the post-Peyton quarterback for the Colts, Luck has carved a reputation for being three things: 1. Rich (he signed a $140 million contract in June 2015, the biggest in NFL history), 2. Reliable (his stoic work ethic is pleasingly Midwestern) and 3. Dorky.The Stanford grad has been called the Colts’ unofficial librarian; his club is an extension of his propensity for gifting books to teammates and coaches. (Think of another NFL QB who’s on record as being super-into The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. We’ll wait.)

But the man makes $140 million throwing balls around, so he’s clearly onto something. And so, driven by Luck’s suggestion, I formed my own offshoot club, called three friends to participate (most common answer: “Huh?”) and got down to reading.

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Michael Strahan’s Guide to Dreaming Big (via Success)

michael strahan success cover

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Success — In his first career, Michael Strahan was a legend.

He became one of football’s most relentless competitors, as good at bringing down quarterbacks as anyone who ever played. Week after week, he’d tear through opposing offenses like a man without fear. When he retired in 2008, after 15 years in one of the most punishing physical environments in sports, he celebrated by picking up three full-time jobs.

“To be honest, I’m looking for a few more,” Strahan says with a big Strahan laugh. “My afternoons are free.” He’s kidding. I think.

It’s 40 minutes after a Tuesday morning taping of Live with Kelly and Michael, and Strahan has chatted with Kelly Ripa about dirty martinis, interviewed actress Rebel Wilson and concocted a small buffet of Super Bowl snacks. Now he’s headed to the offices of his production company, SMAC Entertainment, where he’ll spend the rest of today. Tomorrow, he’ll be up early for a double-shot hosting Live and Good Morning America, which he joined just over a year ago. And during football season, he’ll follow GMA by flying straight to the West Coast to prep for Fox NFL Sunday, which starts before dawn and eats up all of this day of “rest.” Afterward, it’s back to New York to start the cycle again.

See more at Success.

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I WAS ONCE LIKE YOU, REPLACEMENT REFS

NEVER LEAVE US AGAIN, YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN

GateHouse — For real, and I can say this because I have no particularly well-carved feelings on the Green Bay Packers, I felt terrible for the terrible replacement refs. Awful for their awfulness. Miserable for their miserable-ity. Sad for the sadness they brought upon us all, but also the melancholy must have felt slumping back to the locker room, hearts pounding, heads down, knowing that they had to hustle out of the stadium as speedily as they could, probably to get to their shift at Dunkin Donuts.

Seriously, how can you not have felt bad for these poor schlumps? Imagine their situation, that you were walking down the street, whistling a merry tune, a donut in your hand (sorry, totally stuck on the donut daydream now), and someone walks up to you with an oboe. They jam the oboe in your face and tell you in no uncertain terms that you’re playing with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra that night at 8 p.m. And you’d better be at the top of your oboe-game, and the world’s most elite oboe players (oboists? Obots? Barack Oboemas?) would all be in attendance, affected by your every low note, and also 90 billion people would be watching, waiting for nothing else other than to see you jack something up so they could whine about it on AM oboe radio.

(And then maybe one time you get to the end of a symphony and you still haven’t figured out the first thing about your oboe and you end up screwing the pooch on the grand finale so badly that it ends up sounding like Hungarian death metal and everybody hates you, at least as much as everyone can hate an oboe player. Also note: The hypothetical orchestral terror is effective on the likely chance that you, the reader, are not an oboe player. If you, the reader, are an oboe player, please put this column down and turn to Marmaduke at once, which, I am told, is usually pretty low on oboe jokes.)

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N00JbKpZKKw]

See, this is what I’m talking about right here.

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I have to give a lot of credit to Super Bowl XLIII, it really executed the game of football tonight

Super Bowl XLIII FootballGateHouse — Random thoughts from Super Bowl XLIII, which are all I can muster at this late hour because “The Office” didn’t get over until like 11:45 p.m. because it’s crucial to hear Mike Tomlin, Ben Roethlisberger, Santonio Holmes and the winning franchise’s 225-year-old owner all report independently that their Super Bowl win was “unbelievable,” and also because apparently consuming up to 12 pounds of queso dip over a three-hour period causes in the human body a period of extremely awesome hallucinations, followed by the unmistakable sensation that someone has just punched you in the stomach with Cris Collinsworth:

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