Tag Archives: gq.com

Embiggened: Here’s a Look at “Simpsons World” From A-Z (GQ)

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GQ — There are TV shows, and there are apps about TV shows. And then there is “Simpsons World,” which isn’t even an app—it’s a portal, a wormhole, a passage into the 25-year-old Simpsons universe that, if you are a fan, will probably ruin your life. “Simpsons World” takes all five-hundred-and-fifty-freaking-two episodes and makes them accessible to you, in your couch ass groove or Spinemelter 2000 vibrating chair, all at once, right now. And that’s not even the best part: It cross-references those episodes by character, quotes, scenes, guest stars, songs, everything. It lets you create playlists of all the Bumblebee Man episodes, look up all the Albert Brooks appearances and read full episode scripts. It’s not watching the show, it’s HOOKING IT TO YOUR VEINS. (If you bought the DVD box sets, just throw them out the window like they were Grammys.)

Check out the full A-Z list at GQ.com.

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The Only 5 Things You’ll Ever Need at GNC (GQ)

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Pictured: This is definitely me.

GQ — First things first: GNC? Little terrifying. Stand outside and try not to be intimidated by this fluorescent wonderland lined with roots and isolates and and ginseng sold by the keg. (Costco be damned—GNC may be American’s champion of selling its wares in the vastest-possible containers. Many of these Muscle Milk barrels could safely store my car.) Going into a GNC is like falling out of the mall and into the future, where you can buy a full day’s serving of veggies in a pill. I’m pretty sure this is what the people in Wall-E eat.

GNC helped pioneer the over-the-counter weight-loss medication industry, and is an enduring beacon of hope for the tenacious chunk of the populace who, in the face of hundreds of years of medical science, expert analysis and the old-fashioned common sense, believe it’s possible to drop pounds without modifying portion size or going for a walk. But it’s also been around for like 300 years (every mall in America contains two things: a GNC and a Cinnabon, and I suppose it’s a testament to the economy that both can coexist in the same space), so there must be some magic in those titanic jars of powder, right?

Read more here.

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A Man’s Guide to Getting a Facial (GQ)

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GQ — When you tell your female friends that you’ve made an appointment for your first facial, you tend to get one consistent response: deranged enthusiasm.

It’s like being welcomed into a secret society, all these lovely ladies assuring you that you can’t possibly imagine the glorious wonders that await your face-parts. “You don’t have to carry a messenger bag and be named Thad to get a facial. Jeffs deserve facials too,” Robyn told me. “Masculinity is not an issue,” added Anna. “All the gang dudes in my neighborhood in Spanish Harlem got facials.” I’m taking her word for that, as it’s an extremely difficult thing to fact-check.

Anyway. Much like you, unless you are Prince, I hadn’t the first clue what to expect about facials. I’ve never had any kind of massage. No part of me has been exfoliated. I actually asked someone if the facial would involve kelp, mud and/or cucumbers, because apparently my entire knowledge base regarding spa treatments comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons.
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But I did know where to go.
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