Hey Guys, We Were Just Kidding About the Ninjas (via The Loop / Golf Digest)

The Loop / Golf Digest — FIRST, THE GOOD NEWS: We, as a planet, have plenty of ninjas. Loads of ninjas. Too many ninjas, probably, enough that we got bored teaching the ancient silent death arts to humans and began spawning mutant turtles, just for something to do. Enough that we invented a game show in which people equate a 500-year-old Eastern legend with flinging themselves over elevated monkey bars in downtown Tulsa. Rest assured that tonight, when you rest your noggin on your memory foam pillow, you live in a world stuffed to the brim with three things: Yankees closers, people who are easily duped by Sacha Baron Cohen, and ninjas.

But here’s the bad news: Despite having been fooled seven billion times in the last four days, the internet jumped on an awesome-sounding headline, got the story totally 100% wrong and will pay for it by preeeeeeeeetty much doing the same shit the next time Ken Bone shows up or a douche-looking guy appears to steal a foul ball from an adorable moppet. (And here let me pause to say sorry again to that guy, look man, we Cubs fans are just real itchy about foul balls being caught in the stands.)

Here’s what actually happened.

.

.

.

 

Advertisements

About Jeff Vrabel

My writing has appeared in GQ, Men’s Health, Success, the Washington Post, the official BruceSpringsteen.net, Indianapolis Monthly, Billboard, Modern Bride and more. View all posts by Jeff Vrabel

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: