The Only 5 Things You’ll Ever Need at GNC (GQ)

gq-fitness-gnc-workout-suppliments-protein

Pictured: This is definitely me.

GQ — First things first: GNC? Little terrifying. Stand outside and try not to be intimidated by this fluorescent wonderland lined with roots and isolates and and ginseng sold by the keg. (Costco be damned—GNC may be American’s champion of selling its wares in the vastest-possible containers. Many of these Muscle Milk barrels could safely store my car.) Going into a GNC is like falling out of the mall and into the future, where you can buy a full day’s serving of veggies in a pill. I’m pretty sure this is what the people in Wall-E eat.

GNC helped pioneer the over-the-counter weight-loss medication industry, and is an enduring beacon of hope for the tenacious chunk of the populace who, in the face of hundreds of years of medical science, expert analysis and the old-fashioned common sense, believe it’s possible to drop pounds without modifying portion size or going for a walk. But it’s also been around for like 300 years (every mall in America contains two things: a GNC and a Cinnabon, and I suppose it’s a testament to the economy that both can coexist in the same space), so there must be some magic in those titanic jars of powder, right?

Read more here.

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About Jeff Vrabel

My writing has appeared in GQ, Men’s Health, Success, the Washington Post, the official BruceSpringsteen.net, Indianapolis Monthly, Billboard, Modern Bride and more. View all posts by Jeff Vrabel

2 responses to “The Only 5 Things You’ll Ever Need at GNC (GQ)

  • Paula Hendrickson

    GQ Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  • B Driver

    I just wanted to thank you. I cannot get enough of reading your articles. I began to read them out loud to my mom, who has been going through a seemingly unending battle with cancer. On days that I simply cannot even get her to fake a smile, you come through for me. Please write a book!! Barb On Tuesday, January 21, 2014, Jeff Vrabel wrote: > > Jeff Vrabel posted: ” GQ — First things first: GNC? Little terrifying. Stand outside and try not to be intimidated by this fluorescent wonderland lined with roots and isolates and and ginseng sold by the keg. (Costco be damned–GNC may be American’s champion of selling its ” >

    Like

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