Top 9 Lines From My Eulogy For The Goldfish Who Leapt Out Of The Tank To His Death

NickMom— You put a fish tank in your kid’s room because you think it’ll teach valuable lessons about nature and responsibility, and then the fish more or less try to kill themselves.

3. “I said, ‘Maybe we SHOULDN’T put the moray eel in the aquarium,’ but nooooooo no one EVER LISTENS TO ME.”

Read the list here.


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About Jeff Vrabel

My writing has appeared in GQ, Men’s Health, Success, the Washington Post, the official BruceSpringsteen.net, Indianapolis Monthly, Billboard, Modern Bride and more. View all posts by Jeff Vrabel

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