Drywallhowyalike: Ten Hip-Hop Home-Improvement Companies

Paste — According to the best press release we’ve received in some time, washed-up rapper Rob “Vanilla Ice” Van Ice Van Rob Winkle will soon debut a television show “focusing on his passion for home renovation.” Here is a teaser: “In this 10-episode series, Rob is ready for his biggest project yet—a complete overhaul of a six-bedroom and five-bathroom, 7,000 square-foot lakefront home in Palm Beach, Fla.”

This raises all sorts of questions. For instance, if you had a 7,000 square-foot mansion, would you entrust its renovation to a man who once renovated a pair of inflatable pants in a sparkly American Flag motif? And also, wouldn’t it be funny if all the other rapping relics from the 1990s got into the home-improvement business? We think it would. And we freely offer these business concepts to any of the artists mentioned in this link. CALL US.

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About Jeff Vrabel

My writing has appeared in GQ, Men’s Health, Success, the Washington Post, the official BruceSpringsteen.net, Indianapolis Monthly, Billboard, Modern Bride and more. View all posts by Jeff Vrabel

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