Tag Archives: postal service

May your Christmas be liquid, fragile, perishable and hazardous

GateHouse — “Good morning, sir, how are you today?”

Great, and you?

“Great, thanks. Just these three?”

Yep, just these three, please.

“Anything in here fragile or liquid?”

Nope.

“Anything perishable?”

Nope. Not sending any ham today.

“That’s funny. Anything potentially hazardous?”

Nope. (This is what I say, although, technically speaking, I’ve found that anything can be “potentially hazardous” if it’s fired out of a large enough cannon.)

“Anything fragile or liquid?”

Neither. (This is what I say, although what I’d really like to say is, “It’s a vase from the Khang dynasty that I’ve filled with balsamic vinaigrette.”

“Flammable?”

.

Elvis Presley – Return To Sender


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