NickMom — There aren’t that many good ones, tbh.
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- “Whoa, 24 babies on one flight? That must be a record!”
- “The captain really hates talking to children.”
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Category Archives: NickMom
The Worst Sentences To Hear Right Before Boarding The Plane (NickMom)
Latest @NickMom: Things The Harbaughs’ Mom Probably Said To Them Last Weekend
NickMom — And you thought your kids’ sibling rivalry was annoying..
8. “Maybe you could compete to see who could get his high school crap out of my basement faster?” 5. “Did you know your other brother Jake is a heart surgeon? Now that’s a job with a future.”
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Read the full list at NickMom.
Latest @NickMom: Top 9 Ways Kate Middleton’s Baby’s Birth Will Be Different Than Yours
NickMom — Yep. I write about Kate Middleton babies now..
8. You didn’t have to worry about writing on the birth certificate “Lord Farthing Heatherington of the Welch-Cambridge Nigh Highlands” or what-the-hell-ever..
Read the full list at NickMom.
9 Ways Childbirth Would Be Different If You Were Pregnant With A Killer Whale
(Illustration / Stacy Lenz)
NickMom — What? You’ve all thought about it.
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- Registry: Plankton plankton plankton plankton plankton plankton plankton plankton.
- Everyone laughed when you said you wanted to have an underwater birth BUT WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?
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Top 9 Things I Said When I Realized The Birthday Party I Was At Featured Rides On A Llama
NickMom — Is this normal? Because basically the highlight of my birthday parties was Big Mac Container Stacking.
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- OH GOD THERE’S A LLAMA LOOSE OUT HERE RUN YOU LITTLE F–KERS RUN!
Top 9 Lines From My Eulogy For The Goldfish Who Leapt Out Of The Tank To His Death
NickMom— You put a fish tank in your kid’s room because you think it’ll teach valuable lessons about nature and responsibility, and then the fish more or less try to kill themselves.
3. “I said, ‘Maybe we SHOULDN’T put the moray eel in the aquarium,’ but nooooooo no one EVER LISTENS TO ME.”
Top 9 Things You Say in the 12 Hours After Your Son Gets a Magic Kit
NickMom — Hey, you know what a magic kit helps you get done? NOTHING AT ALL.
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- “Hey, that’s some pretty good magic, buddy!”
- “No, I don’t know where the purple ball went. You must be a wizard!”
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Top 9 Things My Infant Appeared To Be Thinking On The Night He Discovered That He Had Feet
NickMom — To be fair, if I just learned that I had feet, I’d probably stare at them for 45 minutes too.
- “AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!”
- “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING ON MY LEG?”
- “SWEET LORD, THERE’S ANOTHER ONE!”
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About
I'm a a writer for such outlets as Men's Health, South Magazine, Nickelodeon's NickMom.com, Billboard, brucespringsteen.net and Paste, a syndicated humor columnist for GateHouse and a father of two (the younger of whom has been personally approved by Bruce Springsteen) on the coast of South Carolina. Even longer bio/clips.Posts That Appear Strangely High in Google
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