Drywallhowyalike: Ten Hip-Hop Home-Improvement Companies

Paste — According to the best press release we’ve received in some time, washed-up rapper Rob “Vanilla Ice” Van Ice Van Rob Winkle will soon debut a television show “focusing on his passion for home renovation.” Here is a teaser: “In this 10-episode series, Rob is ready for his biggest project yet—a complete overhaul of a six-bedroom and five-bathroom, 7,000 square-foot lakefront home in Palm Beach, Fla.”

This raises all sorts of questions. For instance, if you had a 7,000 square-foot mansion, would you entrust its renovation to a man who once renovated a pair of inflatable pants in a sparkly American Flag motif? And also, wouldn’t it be funny if all the other rapping relics from the 1990s got into the home-improvement business? We think it would. And we freely offer these business concepts to any of the artists mentioned in this link. CALL US.

About Jeff Vrabel

Writer/editor at Nickelodeon's Nickmom.com, syndicated humor columnist for GateHouse, music journalist and speedily graying dad based on the coast of Carolina. View all posts by Jeff Vrabel

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