If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.
Comedy jokes also furnished by Dave Vrabel and Tim Donnelly
• “Damn, woman … how’s about you come by my place for a warrantless tapping?”
• “Have we met? Or have I just illegally listened in on your phone calls?”
• “You sure look like a candidate for a premeditated invasion.”
• “I am officially raising your sexiness alert level to orange.”
• “Baby, I’d like to make you the third person to whom I’ve proposed traditional marriage.”
• “If being hot was a crime, you’d be guilty … but I’d suggest you claim executive privilege and ignore any subpoenas.”
• “Nice shoes, wanna fire a United States attorney?”
• “I am highly regarded in the teabagging community.”
• “How’d you like to get your districts gerrymandered?”
• “So what do you do for a living? Wait, let me guess…you’re a CIA agent. Um, should I have not said that out loud?”
• “What’s your sign? Ha! Just kidding, I have your file right here.”
• “This whole town knows how well I handle a Bush.”
• “So you don’t want to go out with me? Why do you love radical Islam?”
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Jeff Vrabel is a humor columnist for the GateHouse news service, editor-in-chief of Hilton Head Monthly magazine and a music writer whose work has appeared in Paste, RollingStone.com, Billboard, Playboy, All About Jazz, No Depression, the Chicago Sun-Times, Backstreets, brucespringsteen.net and several furious Neil Diamond fan message boards. 
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“Baby, I’d like to make you the third person to whom I’ve proposed traditional marriage.” ha
Wow. These are awesome.
If you don’t come home with me tonight, the terrorists have won.
I call my bedroom the axis of emo: It’s where things get real emotional, real fast.
I like to shield my weapon with mass protection, if you know what I mean.
Don’t worry baby, I’ve got in my corner a Bush and a Dick.
Listen, I’ve got great experience with both a Bush and a Dick.